I'm your regular girl..25, has a good job, loving family, awesome friends, no burning issues in life..etc, etc. Very happy, go about doing my usual thing and life is beautiful!
Except, according to my Grandma - I'm (not) a regular girl because I'm 25 (unmarried, single), with a good job (what's the use of a good job), loving family (what's the point of a loving family if they can't find you a life-partner), awesome friends (what are the awesome friends doing without setting you up with someone), no burning issues in life (you need to be married by now!!).
Thus began the biggest Manhunt ever! To find a suitable groom for me! Now, being a conventional Tam-brahm, it's crazy how the family takes groom-hunting very seriously. It goes to unthought of levels. I'm not kidding! By the end of this write-up...you will either feel sorry for me, laugh at me, or do both!
So yes, the word was spread by my family to the relatives and friends.."Let us know if you know of any nice boys for my daughter." You can imagine my irritation and voluntary ignorance to this. Every girl going through this process starts of being pissed first, irritated, then tired, and then ultimately gives in and resigns to the fact that fate will outrun you at some point..so you might as well save your energy.
I was pissed and irritated. I would hate it when the topic would come up during lunch, dinner or any other time of the day. I would leave the room, discussion and just play dumb. I think my family got it, as they didn't push too hard. Then came the phase when I would reason out why I'm not ready for marriage. Further studies, "I'm too young for this," and other unconvincing were my refuge. It did work for a year and half. Not that they stalled the manhunt, but they just left me out of it. Then one day, Ma said.."You're free until Jan 2011 - we'll start looking seriously after that." So there it was...a date was sealed on my free bird days! After a year and half of marriage talk, it was a decent deal. And this is exactly what I mean by giving in and resigning to your fate! It happened to me too!
Post Jan 2011..I reached my "Ok, how bad is it going to be" stage and even dared to enter the "I think I'm ok with the idea now" stage.
I just had to say, "ok, fine..I'm ok with it." That's it...it was like the gates to a dam were opened! A huge wave of potential husband profiles were passed on to me. I talked to one even though I didn't like the profile too much. I went ahead to talk just because I thought I shouldn't judge a book by it's cover. What if he's awesome?! I'd be losing out on awesomeness if I just went by the profile and said now. So I decided to talk to the guy over phone.
Let's just say the first 3 seconds of the call convinced me to say a loud "NO" in my head. I was greeted with a "Hellooo, Haw war you doowing?" It was a typical, heavy South Indian accent..the one I feared most! I knew I couldn't make it through with the conversation, forget marriage! Our conversation lasted 20 minutes. It was civil and cordial and I told the guy I'd get back to him. I told my parents the loud "NO" that was echoing in my head. Thankfully they understood my reasons. I didn't want to marry a typical Southie...someone who's grown up anywhere else but the south (Chennai) is good for me. Not just the accent..but the ideas, thoughts, wavelength, mindset...all these things matter a great deal and if they happen to be somewhat aligned to mine, then I'm cool with taking things forward.
So with the NO conveyed, obviously my Grandma asked me loads of questions..why? how? what?..and then she made the customary remark "no one is perfect." I get that..I don't want a perfect man..I want a man I can have a decent conversation with without being repelled.
So I was back on search mode. Aside from all the madness and fun associated with the process, it's quite tiring. It's painful to go through profiles or hear about men who are absolute strangers and coax yourself to think that one of them could be your potential partner.